Friend?!:/

Friend?!

                    “It is easier to forgive an
                     enemy than to forgive a
                                   friend.”
                             ~William Blake

Toodles!
~A♥~

She is not my friend.

A friend,you say?

So…last night,some relevations took place which completely blew my mind.Aaaand,not in a good way.Some secrets were revealed,trust broken,and yeah,loads of justified (I guess) anger boiled over to the surface like hot lava trying to find some cracks to get out.More or less.Secrets which were kept locked up in an old trunk, in her mind,for more than two months, until now.Yes,she revealed the secrets.Finally.

You know,sometimes people you trust the most,hurt you in the worst way imaginable.You trust them with all your dirty little secrets,and they spill them over a coke…or a coffee…or whatever.Well that’s so not the case with me!Not actually.You see,I didn’t actually trust her.Not because I am judgemental or anything.But because she actually had given me reasons not to!And I never told her any of my “dirty little secrets“.Because I don’t actually have any(not many,I promise!).

We weren’t friends,no.Our first impressions weren’t very good,you see.We were just civil.We talked just for the sake of it.Oh yes,we do have topics to talk about.loads actually.We have similar taste in music,we read similar books and yeah, sometimes we pretend to talk about deeper stuff when we are actually talking nonsense.And yes,’we understand each other so well ‘.Her words, not mine.’I am a Messed up version of you’,she says.No,she is so not.No,she is not my friend.

She is multi-faced.Yes.I have seen quite a few of those in the six or so months that we have lived together.She tries to hide it, but sometimes I see too much.Her mask is not as opaque as she seems to believe.No,it’s translucent actually.Not transparent, but yes,translucent.

I tolerated her before.I hate her now.Hate,with a capital H.Yes,I do hate her.We aren’t hateful to each other,but I know what goes under that sugercoated, sweet talking exterior.I have seen that hateful side one too many times.Not directed at me,ofcourse.Never me.But I am the most hated person on her list, probably.No,we are not FRIENDS.

She is a conceited, hateful person.This is not me talking.It’s her actions talking.I don’t actually know if her actions can be justified… Or if someone else could be blamed.Conceit doesn’t bode well with me.The end.No matter the person,no way.And even if I didn’t hate her,she could never be my friend.Ever.
SHE.IS.SO.NOT.MY.FRIEND.

Toodles!
~A♥~

Possessive friends?No,thanks.

So…there’s a friend of mine in college who I am kind of close to.Not in the best-friends-forever kind of way,but closer than others,I guess.Ofcourse I am not as close to her as I am to my ma,my best friend for life.(Yes,I have got an amazing mother,who is my best friend too,lucky me :-)). But yeah,in college I generally stay with her all the time.

So yes,we are friends,but ofcourse we have other people we talk to. We have some mutual friends,and then there are others who I am friends with and she’s not…and vice-versa.So,our department had the departmental fest the day before,and it was enjoyable to say the least.I mean,we ate,we clicked a ton of pictures and we just explored and roamed around…and yes,we got food vouchers,so free food…what’s not to like huh?We all enjoyed a lot.

Anyway,this friend I mentioned, takes me aside just before she is about to go home,and says that I have been ignoring her.I was like,WHAAAA?I haven’t been ignoring you.you have been right beside me practically the whole day.So she points out a couple of instances when I went to a food stall with another of my friend’s, and didn’t take her with me.Yes,she said that and was upset about it, nonetheless. I calmly told her that this other friend of mine,let’s call her N,is my friend too.And since I have no problem with R, let’s call this possessive friend R, hanging out with other people,she shouldn’t have one either.So she’s like, I am always with you,and don’t go off like that,and blah blah blah.I calmly try to tell her again that it’s not like I am ignoring her and shit…but she is not ready to listen.

Ofcourse,I start getting angry when she is not ready to listen,and I jokingly ask her if she is jealous.She answers in the affirmative and says that I am the closest friend she has at the college and she doesn’t want me to do this again.Imagine! I straight away tell her that N is my friend and I won’t stop hanging out with her just because she thinks I should.She kind of defends herself and says that she has no problem with me hanging out with anyone else.

And this afternoon, when I text her asking if she went to college today,she’s like,N knew about me being absent and she didn’t. I feel the anger taking over again and tell her that it was her who went away early,and not only N,but all my friends knew about my being absent.She again deflects the situation by saying that she was kidding.But I was not,so I try to end the conversation before a full on fight.Now I haven’t replied to her latest text.

The thing is,I don’t like people trying to tell me what to do.I never have.It leads to me getting angry,and the other person getting hurt,or whatever.And R trying to dominate me just pisses me off.This possessive friend thingie is getting on my nerves real bad.

I have no idea why I just wrote this piece, except to get it all out.Afterall,that’s why I started writing in the first place, isn’t it?But still,if R doesn’t back off,we are going to have a serious issue.And this issue would lead to serious talk.She seriously needs to back off.This dominating and possessive shit doesn’t work for me.At all.

If someone is a friend,they need to act like a friend,don’t they?When they try to tell you what to do,don’t they become…dictators?Yeah,yeah I went over the top for a second there,but still…
Aren’t the friends just supposed to be with you as and when you need them…and their support        and all?

Well, I dunno about any of this.Atleast I was able to get this all out.Maybe my anger will subside before I talk to R again…but then again,maybe not.We will just have to wait and see how this plays out.

Toodles!
~A♥~