Carefree rains,come again.

Rains rains, come again.

With rains come memories! Beautiful ones.
Like coming back from school and going to the terrace directly when it started raining on the way back but I couldn’t enjoy because I was on the freaking school bus. Singing those stupid rain songs while “bathing” in the heavenly showers. Getting a severe cold and having my parents go out of their way to take care of me. Even jumping in the puddles sometimes. It sounds sickly and gross now. Not then. It was awesome back then.
I remember it all now when I am coming back from college and it starts raining. No one’s waiting for me when I am soaked to the skin in the unexpected rains. No one tells me I might get an infection if I jump in those dirty puddles. Maybe that’s why I have stopped. Nor do I get the urges to go upstairs to the PG terrace and sing my off-key heart out while dancing and getting soaked.
Nor the pelting raindrops assaulting my face give me that comfort now that they always have. I always loved those lazer sharp rain bullets hitting me on my back. Painfully relaxing. And the sweet customized rain-only scent. It was heavenly.
How I craved it. Now it’s all just environmental biology;nature. No more emotional attachments anymore.
I remember once it had “snowed over”. Let me tell you why it was special. In north India, it doesn’t snow. Like ever. The terrain’s just not that way. We get rains and ungodly winds,but never snow. So,that day the moment my brother and I got down from the school bus, we noticed something different. Something white. Surely it couldn’t be…!We ran to our house and the white stuff was everywhere. Like everywhere. We started jumping. It had snowed! Mumma told us it wasn’t snow,exactly. It was just the hardened water drops. Very harsh to touch, nowhere near smooth like the cottony slice of heaven we had always imagined snow to be. But you know what?We didn’t care. We had Maggie on the terrace. It had snowed at our house and it was awesome.
I visited numerous places over the years,seen plenty of mountains covered in snow,and had those same Maggie noodles surrounded by the fluffy, honest-to-God snow. But it just never compared.*shrugs*
Littlest of things hold so much significance in our lives. We make memories. We enjoy. And then, we grow up. Those things aren’t all that important now. Not that awesome. But the memories!*sighs* Some make us laugh. Some make us cry. Some make me bawl my eyes out like a baby. Some make me giggle. (I don’t giggle generally.*glares*)
And some just bring a HONEST-TO-GOD smile to my face. Like all these. And those makeshift swimming pools we used to make when we blocked the terrace drain when it rained heavily and splashed around till mumma came upstairs. It was a terrifying nightmare after that.*visibly shudders*
What I wouldn’t give to go back for one more such carefree rainy day.*wistful sigh*



Nefarious Nineteen!

                     So,I am finally 19,and:

Bitter truth

Yes,I am 19.Finally.And nothing much has changed except for the million phone calls I have answered since waking up and talking to the billion relatives I haven’t talked to in a year.
Yup.That’s pretty much it.*Nods with a thoughtful expression*
Now since I don’t like birthdays much,I don’t like the birthday plans much,either.But the rents!They have to have plans,however much you don’t want them to.*grumbles*
Well Whatevs.I just wanted to vent about being 19 and how “different” and “fun” it seems to be.*sighs*
Thanks for not hitting me on the head.You people sure have loads of patience, I must say.
Thank you!! ♥
Oopsie!Gotta go.Another one of those million calls from those billion relatives…



Inevitable 19.

In a few hours, my life is gonna take another turn.Expected,yet unwanted.A turn I have never appreciated in the last 18 years.And one I don’t think I ever would.It’s inevitable, yet dreaded.I have no particular reason why I don’t want this.No reason.Period.
It’s something everybody is excited about,at some point of time or the other.It signifies another long year spent.It signifies another 52 weeks’ worth of memories collected.It signifies another 364 days gained.It signifies growth.It signifies stuff I have no care about.It is significant.I can see the significance, don’t get me wrong.I just don’t care for it,I guess.
I don’t like birthdays.I don’t like the idea of growing up.I don’t like the thought of getting close to the time when I would be totally on my own.
                     I don’t like my birthday.
I just don’t.But as I said,inevitable.*sighs*
So,yes,I am gonna be 19.I am gonna be another year older.I am gonna grow up.*cynic face*



#Diaries:Now I was free.


May 18,2015
12:05 p.m.
The bell rang, and I felt like running away from that damn place like it was on fire.It was, maybe.I wanted to get away.I wanted to just…go. Away,away from that room that had featured in my nightmares for the last fortnight.It wasn’t a necessity anymore:To stay there.I didn’t want to spend a single freaking second more than I absolutely needed to,there.It was decided.I was going home.After the nightmarish fortnight I had spent there,I wanted back.The only place that had ever felt like home was just a few hours away. Felt?It was. So I started running.And ran,and ran, and ran till I reached the place where all my belongings were.I ran to that cupboard,to that bed,to those people and frantically started throwing stuff into a duffle.Then another one.I was packed in less than a quarter of an hour.I was all set to go to the place I so desired.I bid goodbye to them all and ran down the stairs.I took a damn auto, and then the metro.And finally the bus which would lead me to my destination.Only after I had settled down in my seat did I think about anything.I had just wanted an out.I just wanted to return.
Now,sitting in the sticky vinyl seat,with odor of stale sweat,and leering faces, did I take a deep breath.The damn exams were finally over.Now I was free.

Kinda anti-climatic?:P
Thought it was fictional,or something life-altering?
Well,sorry to disappoint you,but this was my life-altering moment.Well,that’s an exaggeration, obviously.*eyeroll at the dramatic personality that is me*
It’s just that,I love my place.And my people.I wanted to return to them.So,I was exhilarated.
God, I am so weird sometimes.:P
But I love my weird,I guess.*shrugs*
That’s why I go on,and on with the weirdness that is my life.


Accounts.📑 · Emotions

Like I never left…


So,I visited my school today.It had been a few months. The last time I visited had been the Annual function of my school,where I had received a couple of awards for being the topper, and 100 percentage scorer, and highest marks scorer, and blah blah blah.Also,the campus had been jam-packed that evening.Today,however,since it was after school hours,silence prevailed.No chatter,no bustling, nothing.Not a single kid in sight. None.
You know,I was kinda happy.I was happy for those quite moments, which, let me see…yes!Never existed when I was in school.I mean,I had never seen the school campus so quiet before, and I actually liked the quietness. I know,school is supposed to be bustling with activity,but I liked those peaceful moments with the place I had spent all my life going to.It was actually…nice.You see,I have never been sentimental about my school and friends and stuff. I wasn’t today,either.It’s not about that.But, I just…liked it.


This place,which had been the second home_shall we say?_to me all my life,sure holds some kind of pull.Even if I don’t cry and stuff, when I think about it,sometimes,the memories_good and bad_assault me.I just sit there and think about those fun times,and then those sad times,and the happy times,and…I should probably stop.But you get my drift, right?I mean,I just think about it all.
When I visited this time,some changes had taken place.The school library had been a very fun place for me (as you would probably know if you have read my previous posts,I live/love to read).I mean,I am not the kind of person who spends hours in a library.No, that’s not me.Have never been.But, you see,it was my school library that introduced me to the phenomenon that’s SYDNEY SHELDON. I used to go to the library to issue the Sheldon books,so I could read those during the boring lectures.And during the ride home.And at home.And before I went to sleep. You get my point,don’t you? 😛

Pathway to... Home.

So yeah,the library.It wasn’t there.That whole block was missing.Just the debris.Just that.No, it wasn’t the earthquake.Nothing so sad.It’s just that, that block is being constructed from ground level.I know,that’s kinda a good news.But it’s just that…it made me realise, again, that life is unpredictable. It can change in a matter of seconds,let alone a few months.The place I had loved so much, was nothing more than rubble.Yes,that’s all it was.

Those days...

I spent a few minutes roaming around,going up this staircase,coming down the other. Getting up on the stage I had spent quite a few hours on,preparing for my performances, my debates, speeches,that monologue on Julius Ceaser.I went about the whole campus.

So many times.

Then,it was time to return.I started walking towards the gate.When I was halfway through,I stopped and turned back.I remembered that legendary Catfight in the school ground, those long boring assemblies, those ripped uniform pants,those on-the-spot games our sports teacher invented during the games period.It brought a smile to my face.I turned, and started walking again.When I went through the gates,I didn’t turn back again.
I would be returning.Sometime.Someday.