After you’ve been systematically abused, your judgment erodes to the point where it’s nearly impossible to make decisions. Small decisions are as tough as big ones. Even choosing a breakfast cereal seems filled with peril. You are so scared about doing the wrong thing, being blamed and punished for it, you’d rather have someone else take the responsibility. And, the moment you give away your ability to hold that responsibility, you give away your agency. And, an individual without agency is nothing more than a slave to the past. It’s necessary, hence, to hold on to your power to make decisions and take up for it. To take up for yourself. Because that’s what every individual is about: Free will. So, take hold of that bull of the past by the horns and ride the longest 8 seconds of your life. Because once you decide to let go of the past and decide to go with the bull’s movements, you have already won. You are a winner against your own self.
And, isn’t that the most important fight?
P.S. It’s been a looooong while since I wrote something. Words had seemed to have abandoned me these past months. I haven’t written anything in almost 4 months. I couldn’t. 2 meaningful lines were A LOT to ask for. I dunno why. I just couldn’t find motivation to write, I guess. But, well, life’s been crazy. Shit happened. And, after hundreds of everyday resolutions of trying to get myself to write these months, I just decided to sit, staring at the wall till I could write again. I wanted to write something extremely positive this new year’s. But, this is all I could come up with. So, make do with this till I can get my mo-positive-jo back.
It was good, trying this writing thing again. I feel good. Really good. And, I am gonna try again. I will try to write. For myself and for everyone else around me because I become a total jerk when I don’t.
A very happy new year’s to all of you out there who haven’t unfollowed me in my absence. And to everybody else, too (I am not that much of a jerk yet, I promise.).
I hope you have a wonderful 2017.💟
P.P.S. All of your comments that are in the ‘waiting for approval’, I will reply as soon as possible. Gimme some time, yeah?
Catch ya soon.💕