I still don’t miss you yet.

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Torturous days.*sighs*

Dear bane of my existence,

It’s been many days since I left you. I would like to believe I did it for good this time,but we both know I would be lying. It’s not the end,no. It’s not our end. We go way back and I am afraid it would take more than a couple of weeks of torture to sever the ties for forever. I know for a fact that I can move out on you whenever I want to. But as owl city would say, I can never leave. I am stuck with you. And your obsessive possessiveness won’t let go; won’t let me break free of the clutches that’s your grasp on my life. I am just a mere pawn now. You won’t let me leave and I have become too used to your presence to know otherwise now, I guess. I wish I didn’t. I wish it was different. I wish we were different. I wish I was free. But, alas! I can’t escape. I got to accept that bitter reality. It’s bittersweet, really. People want somewhere to belong to. I have that. I have you. I don’t want you. I don’t miss you. I haven’t missed you yet. Only when I stop to think about you, I hate everything about you. And when you stop to think about me,you hate everything about me. Why did I ever love you? Why do you love me? I am stuck with you for a year and a half more. I don’t want to be stuck with you. I don’t want to be near you. There’s so much fish in the water. Take your pick. Just…let me be. I hate you. I hate everything about you. I hate.

Sincerely,
A
(A student who hates you
A student who hates your very face
A student who wants to go away from you
A student who doesn’t want to belong to you
A student who doesn’t appreciate you
A student who doesn’t love you)

In case there’s still a doubt left in your mind about who this is addressed to, it’s my college, my course, the city I live in to be “near” these^. That’s who.-.-

Toodles!
~A♥~

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61 thoughts on “I still don’t miss you yet.

      1. From where should I begin! I’m SICK and tired of this routine college life!! Didn’t get a vacation this year, because my university exams were held during the diwali vacation. Anything that I say about my life will sound like cribbing, you know? 😝😂
        Vi. I missed you, man. 😀

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Hahahaha story of every college kid in the world. Don’t you worry. I definitely sound like I am cribbing when I talk about college. Never even once do I sound like I appreciate it. But since I don’t believe in sugarcoating, I think it’s all well and good. 😛
        Anyway, I did get a vacation. I am currently loving it,being home and stuff.:P
        Annnnd,who the hell holds exams during Diwali vacation?! *glares*
        I missed you,too,Ada!:*
        Why don’t you come back for good?!*pouts*

        And if you are here for now,help me with something economic, no?:P
        I am the co-editor for the Eco dept newsletter. I gotta submit articles and stuff:economics related, ofcourse. Suggest some interesting topics,since you actually love economic honors and not doing it just for the sake of it like I am? 🙈

        Like

      3. Ummm lemme think.
        Let’s see
        You can talk about the effects of current huge inflows of FDI
        What led to the Greek crisis. (I looked it up because I was curious and whatever that came up was quite interesting. Search on YouTube)

        Wow, I thought I’d be full of new ideas when I read your comment. Sadly, all I can think about is these topics! I’ll comment again if I think of something! 😛 sorry. 😐

        Like

      4. Hey,thanks for the effort,girl. It’s more than enough that you actually wanted to help.:)
        I will look into these. This does look interesting.:P ( economics seldom does to me,now*sighs*)
        And do comment whenever you find something more. *bear hugs*
        Thank you so soooo much,again.💋

        Like

  1. Such a liar you are, Miss Textbookaholic.
    You tried very hard to fool us, may be you did some of us, but not me.
    I know your love for college, your love for studies, your love for the city. You have confessed that yourself. 😛

    I am guessing exams are over? How were they ? Sorry, wrong question. Of course you have rocked them. Silly me.

    PS : Argh, this is the third time I am commenting. Yesterday, I tried, but this post got awol. I hope this time it goes through. You need to get this checked out.

    Like

    1. You are shitting me,right!?! Rocked the exams,you say? I very bloody seriously had 4 mental breakdowns in the 5 exams I had to appear for. The 5th one was individual and society and I had my mumma with me,so thankfully no breakdowns then. But every single exam after that?!! Total crying fest while crying “I will fail,I will fail” at the top of my lungs. Even my parents about had a total breakdown because of how hard I had been crying the night before one of the exams. And the sad part is that they were away. Obviously. So they felt helpless.*sighs*
      Also, I pulled an all-nighter every single night for two continuous weeks. So, I have dark circles now which are very prominent.-.-
      And the tension has made me lose so much hair that I am contemplating chopping it all off and getting a pixie. I am seriously going to a hairstylist tomorrow. So,there’s that. 😐
      And I have lost weight, ofcourse, and that too from places I don’t want to. -.-

      I bloody well hate college(not my college, but college in general, you know),and my course, and that city.-.-
      I wouldn’t say I loved these to save my life. -.-
      I am just thankful that that 2 week long nightmare is over and done for and I am home.
      P.S. I don’t freaking know what to do. Somebody told me that updating would help. Ofcourse it didn’t, seeing my luck.All the problems are still there. Not even a single issue has been resolved. I have given up now.*sighs*

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Oh, I’m seriously sorry.
        Given the passion you had for the subject I thought it might have gone well. I still hope it has.

        You know I could have helped, if there was anyway I could.

        Dark circles will go away. Don’t worry.
        And you’ll get your hair back as well.
        Ok, i don’t want to know what those places are.

        Wait, what about LSE ? You want to major in eco right? I think it’s the hangover of the exams speaking.

        Ok. I agree.

        So you’re home, which is great. Enjoy.

        PS : Sigh. I had given up on commenting, almost.

        Like

      2. The keyword here is HAD. I loved economics something fierce at some point of time. I was naïve. I realised I never really understood the extent of what was to come until it was too damn late. I don’t have any options now,though. 1.5 years more,still. :/
        I know you would have.:)
        I hope they do. It sucks looking like a sick,weak person. I am tired of hearing that I have lost weight. I dunno if I have really. But a weak, tired face gives the impression of weight lost,apparently. I have been told numerous times that I should eat more. What the hell? I,in no way,look like someone who hasn’t been eating well. Okay,my face does look exactly like that,I guess.😶
        I am working on getting it back. Hence the haircut. I will be able to care more for it then,maybe.:/
        I am not telling you,either.😏
        I don’t wanna do masters. I can’t tolerate more of this shit.-.-
        Thanks a bunch.
        How has your job been treating you,Mr. SWE?
        P.S. Haha but it came through in the end,huh?:P

        Liked by 1 person

      3. You’re not someone who gives up. That’s what I know for sure about you. Yes , it might not have been the same thing you had expected out to be, but you are not going to give it up, this easily.
        1.5 years, still a lot of time. All the best. 😀

        I mean I still can. You need any ?

        Looks like you need a few more proteins and carbohydrates. Eat well. That’s all I can say. And no chocolate syrup for you. I’m going to drink it lavishly.

        Oh ok. Don’t stress yourself too much either.

        Ok, now I’m interested. Please tell. 😛

        Come on, I had dreamed of working for you. Remember that ?

        Ah, don’t mention it. 😀
        I’m in some deep shit right now. 🙈 And there no sunny side to this, apparently. I plan to write about it, but the mind is too frustrated and flushed to think straight.

        PS : I had to save the comment, check back whether the post was available , then had to post it. Yes, the struggle is real. 😵

        Like

      4. Am I? If people around me( genuine ones) are to be believed (which they are), I give up too easily. I know I do. One of my biggest weaknesses,I guess.:/
        Thanks! I hope the next half comes out to be better than the one spent.*sighs*

        Nah. I am good right now. No more studies for a while. All I need to work on is the Eco dept newsletter,being the co-editor and all, and having no idea about the real economic issues whatsoever, seeing as I have no damn interest in the economy, really. -.-

        I am eating well. More than well,actually. I am home, afterall. Delicious food,no tension(deliberately forgetting the fact that my result would come on the eve of new year’s. -.-). I had chocolate cake today. Hah Beat that,chocolate syrup.😏

        I am not,at the moment.

        Hahahahaha hush. No way.😌

        Yeah,yeah. We will see about that. 🙈

        What deep shit?*inquisitive raise of brows*

        P.S. Oh my! I know the struggle. My posts disappear and reappear as and when they want, afterall. I don’t get notifications. Comments go to spam generally instead of notifications panel. It’s all screwed up.*makes a face*

        Liked by 1 person

      5. Yes you are. So, you are saying I’m imaginary? Ok. 😭.
        No, you don’t. You guess wrong. 😒😒

        Well, all the best for it. 🙂

        Believe me, you would want to.May be give it some time, but not too much. Eventually, you’ll do the masters as well.
        You’ll be a freaking investment banker , with a pent house.

        Good. Keep at it.
        Don’t worry, you’ll do just fine.
        You’ll get diabetes. You’ll get diabetes.

        Ok.

        Come on, you shouldn’t keep someone wondering. 😵

        Don’t want to bother you with the details. I’m a mess, which you already know. So…

        Ps : do something about it. 😝

        Like

      6. Hahahaha Yess! Exactly that! 😛
        Whatever. Let’s not discuss that,shall we?:/

        Thenks!I need it!🙈

        😒 I wish!

        No, I won’t. I am eating so many sweets these days,though.😶

        Hah as if I care!😌

        😶 but still…

        P.S. Not in my control. I am not trying for control here anymore,either. It’s tiring,really,seeing as WP won’t behave either way.:/

        Like

      7. Ouch. Ok. 😭😭

        Why not ?

        *sending more wishes for way*

        Hmm

        You will get diabetes. May be you already got.

        Areeeeey. Come on…

        Hmm…

        PS. May be reset the whole wp account, like to default settings.

        Like

      8. Hahahaha

        Because.

        *drowns under the weight of all the wishes*

        Nah. I am good. You just know these things,you know.*Nods with a serious Expression*

        Lalalalalalala

        P.S. Okay. Will try that,too.

        Like

      9. Not funny. 😭

        ..because…

        👍

        No, you aren’t. You will have to take injection every other day to keep it in check.

        Arey….batao toh..

        PS : Nice. Yeah try.

        Like

      10. Ok, this is officially the smallest comment from you.
        I don’t even know what’s for what. 🙈

        Still not funny. 😭😭😭😭



        PS : 😒😒😒😒😒

        Like

      11. You are being dumb. Wait,I will explain. *contemplative expression*
        There’s an addition of 2 mores. So,not the same. But we previously deduced that I am still the same. So, proof is not equal to ‘to Prove’. Hence, the 2nd hypothesis is rejected.
        So,conclusion is, I am still the same,without the additional mores.*Nods*
        So,finish this topic. Let’s “discuss” something else.😏
        You can’t win from me.😌

        Like

      12. 😂😂

        So you completely agreed to you being “Out of control + Rebellious” without two mores. Awesome.
        Smoothly done. 😂😂

        Ok, how’s your boyfriend ? 😂😂😂😂😂

        Like

      13. What!?! No,I didn’t. No. You must have…misunderstood.
        Umm,yes. That’s it.*Nods her head furiously*
        No. I didn’t say any such thing!!!!!!😶

        I will need to have one to tell you how he is. Which I don’t. So, wrong question, I would say.😏

        Like

      14. You did. You totally did.
        Don’t break your neck in the process. 😂😂

        Ok, don’t tell. No biggie. I hope he is okay though, I mean since he is with you. Can’t imagine the torture he might be going through. 😂😝😝

        Like

      15. Yes.
        It’s ok. I wont tell anyone you are what you say you’re.

        Yeah 😂😂😂😂 right 😂😂😂😂.
        Keep fooling people all you want. Btw, say hi to him from me. 😊😊

        Like

      16. 😒
        Oh shut up already!*exasperated intake of Breath*
        I.Don’t.Have.A.Boyfriend.And.I.Don’t.Even.Want.One.-.-
        It’s an irritating topic,really,seeing as it’s all bull. *rolls her eyes*
        Find a new one already.

        Like

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