The only one.

There it was again.The meanness.The “jerk” side of her.The answering back.She was becoming meaner by the day,without even a hint of her bad attitude receding.She was being a shitty person to the person she loved the most,and she knew it.But she couldn’t stop.She couldn’t get herself to reign-in her mean streak. She cared, but she just…couldn’t.Even time she tried to her help her;tried to tell her that what she was doing wasn’t right;tried to tell her she was hurting her own self,she became meaner.She hurt her.She talked back to her.She wanted to tell her that she knew what she was doing.She didn’t need constant looking over.But she was wrong. So wrong.She might have grown up physically, but she was so immature. So damn immature, she couldn’t even take a single decision in her life.She needed her help.She needed her to approve. She needed her to tell her that whatever she was doing was all fine.And the thing is,she blamed it on her.She made it up in her mind that it was all her fault.She was the villain.She was the one responsible for all the shit in her life.She herself wasn’t to be blamed for any shit. The shit-storm that was her life, was all her fault.Her.The one person in her life that was the most important to her.The person she loved the most.The person she looked up to.The person who was always there for her,no matter what.Whether it was the dark of the night,or dawn, or noon,or whatever,she was there.Always.She realised that.She remembered it all.She could see it all.And yet,she couldn’t stop.She didn’t want to hurt her,but she wanted her hurting.She wanted her to realise that she couldn’t keep on living like that. She wanted her to realise that she was getting itchy in her own skin.She wanted her to realise that she was dying inside.She wanted her to see that what she was going through, wasn’t just teenage drama,but an avalanche which was going to drown her if unchecked.She wanted her to realise that.And she wanted her to come to her rescue as she always had.She wanted her to help her.She wasn’t happy with her life.She was freaking crying all the time,for god’s sake! People didn’t cry all the time for no reason. Something was up.And she wanted her to see that.Only her.Her saviour.Her protector.Her helper.Her dearest.Her…
She was the only one who could help her.The only one.Why couldn’t she see the tornado swirling in her eyes?The unease in her movements?Her tired eyes?Her mess of a life?She had to.She would have to.She was the only hope.The only one who could help her.The only one…

Toodles!
~A♥~

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22 thoughts on “The only one.

  1. Seemingly she is living for the world rather than for herself and her alter is living for her.
    Every now and then when the world around points out her doings to her she believes is the alter than drove her to do it.
    Failing to realize that the alter is she. Shit the world and its views, so forth unleash yourself and live.

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      1. Hmmm, in that case maybe its time she took responsibility and accountability of her own actions and charted out her path following her own heart.
        Her situation has been very nicely conveyed by your words

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Just started a blog and yours was the first I fell in love with. I followed you immediately, and I’d appreciate if you could follow me back to help me start out! Once again, absolutely love your words. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Just made a blog today, and yours was the first I fell in love with! I followed you immediately and would love if you could follow me back to help me get started! Once again, love your words

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